wing it
Let’s rewind to the 90’s. The days where my only electronic device was the non-rechargeable Walkman and playing marbles was a full day activity. A-B-C: School has begun. Lego, Barbies, piano lessons were things to keep my young heart satisfied. But, above all, my parents worked hard to give me the holy grail to future success: A degree.
The pressure to fit the perfect student frame increased and so did my fear to fail and disappoint. Topping it off with the growing insecurity of looking or acting different than the other kids on this war zone playground. Water guns didn’t protect me, so squeezing myself as a square peg in a round hole was the best I could do.
There is an advantage to have this early midlife crisis now: At least we have another 50 years to enjoy our Porsche. This world demands us to go beyond the traditional paths to survive. To adapt, we need to gain back our creativity that has been taken away from us. That starts with rediscovering the real unicorn inside of us, stripping off our armor and answering fundamental questions like: Who am I? What makes me unique? How did I become the person I am now? And how do I want to live my life from now on? Facing our insecurities and fears, our dreams and talents, our true selves. I believe personal growth, focus and confidence will be the weapons to keep us sane in this mad world. Understanding our own insecurities to understand them of others: You are not alone anymore. Fellow millennial unicorn, are you ready to face yourself?
If you are ready, visit www.wingm.co.
Zooming out of my own bubble, the Walkman has turned into Spotify. More people on a smaller space leads us being constantly in each other’s territory. The stress on survival in this mad competition makes us lose our empathy. Add the anonymity, especially in our digital life, we feel free to judge anyone at any time. While bullying use to be bound to the playground, our childhood war zone has expanded to the bedroom via our uncountable electronic devices.
Judged on the job I have, judged on the food I ate. Our need to show success, need for ‘likes’, and us making ourselves doubtful and miserable by seeking confrontation of other people’s success: We have created our own social prison. But what do we call success nowadays? We are a generation that has been given everything and now the world is screaming at us to be everything. YOLO is our motto.
Desiring the fundamentals, like having a stable income, starting a family and own a roof one day, is boring and not ambitious. With a bucket of Cristal in your hand, celebrating your tech startup’s first million in revenue at Coachella, that should be your standard. But don’t you dare to mention that you don’t want kids in your life. That’s a no-no! We are stuck in the twilight between the old fashioned values of our parents and the unknown life we desire and the world demands us to have. Trying to stay confident and sane in this schizophrenic world is an understated struggle.
How I went through an early midlife crisis at 28
In the Summer of 2015, I became a millennial cliché: I got a burn out. Straight out of school, sprinting up the corporate ladder to come falling down just 2.5 years later. Classic failure. That was how I felt. How much I wanted to blame my work, I knew this wasn’t what brought me to the brink of total exhaustion. Then what was the reason?
Fast forward to the day of my graduation. Spend my huge debt to pay off my degree and not to forget on several world trips, parties and newest iPhone to name a few things. Opportunities my parents couldn’t even imagine to have. Now, ready to exchange my fancy, scientific title, that deprived me from my sleep, for a job. But wait, the market crashed and wipes my imprinted guaranteed success away.
Five hundred applicants for just one company position, all with fancy titles like me. Swimming in a pool of eager beavers, the company has the freedom to demand a unicorn. Where did I fail to become one? Pressure to pay off my debt and not to let my parents, family, friends down, I slipped into the uncomfortable unicorn suit.
As a Trojan unicorn, I have managed my way into a big corporate. This short victory was overcast by my insecurity of urban survival. While this temporary contract should put me at ease for a while, it raises problems that affect my basic needs: Will I ever be able to get a mortgage? Let alone, keep living in this overly expensive shoebox? Hitting 30’s, how will I be able to build a family without financial security? So long future…
Communicating and starting romantic relationships via retina screens, technology disconnects us. From our loved ones, our environment, but most worrisome, from ourselves. Who does not check his/her smartphone while doing number two? Our 24/7 entertainment culture keeps us from listening to our bodies, our minds, our feelings. We can’t relax, be bored like we used to. We lost ourselves without us knowing it.
And then it hit me at my first job. What did I accomplish while everything I own is given to me? A bottomless need to prove myself that I can do it on my own. Realizing that my generation will never be as rich as the previous one. That I will have to work until my 80s, can barely afford a living now, feeling guilty of being a failure to my parents. I was exhausted to keep up an exciting life, meet other’s expectations to avoid constant judgement, trying to figure out how I want to live and being unable to plan anything for the future. It all came together when I was the faux unicorn. All the life-long struggle, insecurity, unconscious pretending, with the fear of losing my only victory and survival mechanism, the job. The job that pressured me to perform in a role that does not bring the best out of me, had to deal with other frustrated, ancient-thinking colleagues every day, in a company that bears values way different from mine. I broke.
Work is just the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The camel which had been taken a cocktail of fear and insecurity his whole life. Causing it to feel lost, stuck, exhausted and grow a major identity crisis. Childhood dreams were crushed, talents underappreciated and creativity vaporized. Since my shoe lace diploma, I have made myself belief in the expectations of others, hiding my unique self. All to fit in a mold of mainstream, and for what?
NL
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